heart's ill at ease with this love in idleness

Well, I suppose a month's gap between posts isn't so bad...certainly better than my previous track record at least.

I wasn't very happy last night, so I started this. Finished the pencils earlier, just added the textures and shittastic colours now. I'm planning on seeing if using watercolour on a print would work better, since the original is a bit bent out of shape, sadly.

There's a Shakespeare reference in here somewhere. Let's just say that for now, certain aspects of my life have rather taken priority in my mind. And yes, it's a very bad self-portrait. I sort of had to rescue it from looking too pretty in the beginning.

music: Caribou - Found Out

attempt no. 491...

I'm really not very good at all at this blogging thing, am I?

A lot's happened since my last post; somehow, I got into university (Plymouth) to study Illustration and am doing an even worse job at being a student.

And this is where I'm going to be brutally honest; at the minute, I am in one of my seemingly annual spells of depression. It never really felt like I came out of the last one, but I must've done somehow to get here. As such, it's been incredibly debilitating in terms of actually creating. Or doing most things.

So I've been at a loss for what to do about this precisely; I eventually went to my course leader about it and he was surprisingly sympathetic. He's suggested I try a visual diary about the depression in a bid to help pull me out of this funk.

And actually, it's not a bad idea. I had to do one as the condition of my offer from them and I found it quite useful to let off some steam and get used to the idea of being more reflective in my work. So I'm making tentative steps to actually enjoy drawing again and not hate everything I produce on sight. :)

Here's one thing I drew last night when I couldn't sleep (something else I'm having to deal with):

Admittedly, the whole metaphor of a black dog for depression is not the most original but I think it's the most fitting description I can think of for the oppressive weight that sits on your shoulders when you feel this way. Plus, I like the way it kind of links to a particularly British folklore tradition of black 'devil' dogs being bad omens. That and I like drawing big scary dogs. :I

I'm feeling a little more positive but I know it's going to take me a while to properly sort myself out. Still, maybe this'll do the trick. We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.

er...hi.

alright chaps?

do excuse the absence as of late...things have been a touch rough lately. Still, I managed to produce this somehow in the small hours of the morning.

If there's one thing I hate drawing, it's self-portraits. But I think I just about managed to enjoy this one.
























music: Lady GaGa "Scheisse" remix for Thierry Mugler A/W11

xxx

Music?

What do you listen to when you're creating? Do you listen to anything at all?

Personally, I've just introduced myself to some awesome dubstep in the form of Zomby.

Find anything good lately?

Btw, The lady in the photo is Daphne Oram; made some fantastic early, experimental electronic music in the 40s. And she was British. :D

Tsarevich Ivan, Seryi Volk i Zhar-Ptitsa

So as previously mentioned, I did a selection of illustrations on the Russian folktale Ivan Tsarevich for my final college project in the summer.

I love the story, but I was disappointed that I couldn't quite capture it as I'd hoped. That aside, these are my favourite images from the set. Enjoy!

Bits from the sketchbook.

Finally scanned in some stuff from my current sketchbook!

I always have one on the go and take it practically everywhere. :) The one I have at the moment is a little bigger than what I usually work with but I like it all the same. There's no set theme, though I tend to doodle portraits quite often- not of anyone in particular.

Though sometimes my college work will spill over into them. :) My last project was on illustrating Russian Folktales.

I eventually settled on 'Ivan Tsarevitch, The Grey Wolf and The Firebird' and I may well put up the final illustrations in another post...

First post

Only brief, I'm afraid- haven't really done much since I finished my A-Level course last month.

Anyway, just a little something I did the other day on a whim. I like the style of it though; I think I might do some more like her. :)